There aren’t many funny divorce stories. For good reason. But the following is a classic tale of mistaken identity and jokes gone horribly wrong. Fortunately, I was getting divorced regardless of this.
And for those who don’t know, yes, I was married once before. Starter marriage, I call it.
It all started with a workplace secret Santa situation. As it always does. A real prankster co-worker of mine drew my name and decided to give me a notebook of Wonder Woman stationary. As a writer and a powerful brunette whose Grandmother used to compare her to Lynda Carter, it was a fitting gift. Of course, I already had a backlog of empty notebooks. I added this one to the pile.
Fast forward a year. It’s my gay brother-in-law’s birthday and I needed a gift. I began to look and rummage around the house, as one might do. When I spotted the stationary in amongst other stuff, I remembered his love for all things Wonder Woman. (Insert gay man stereotype here.) Without a second thought, I wrapped it up. My cleverness was unmatched. The perfect regifting.
Until things started going wrong in my marriage. There were accusations of infidelity and I was pissed because of the lack of evidence. My husband kept insisting that he knew I had been cheating on him. Amazing, I thought. Especially since I hadn’t actually cheated on him while we were married. (Maybe before, but that’s a different story.)
You might have already guessed the ending to this story. Turns out the prankster at work thought it would be funny to write a love letter to me on a piece of the stationary in the middle of the notebook. He figured I would find the letter stashed away and get a good laugh.
Of course, I didn’t find the letter. My bad.
My brother-in-law did. Double my bad.
In addition to flaming the fires of an affair that hadn’t taken place with someone that had a horrible sense of humor, this whole experience gave my husband even more reason to not trust me during our divorce proceedings.
Thanks for nothing, Wonder Woman.
*Unless it’s baby stuff. I’m totally pro-regifting baby stuff.