Tall Tara

I interrupt the lackadaisical posting schedule with a highlight from my time spent at a little gathering of female bloggers that recently occurred. Blame it on the estrogen for a post filled with sex toys. You’ve been warned.

There was some serious swag in the party bags this year. Not Sundance or Academy Award level, but the best stuff I’ve seen at a BlogHer conference yet.

Take the Room 704 party. Women patiently waited not just for the party to start, but for a brown bag full of goodies.

Cleaning supplies? Some of those.

Lip gloss? Some of that.

Vibrator from party sponsor Eden Fantasys?* Yup.

Getting the swag bag was an unexpected surprise since I was simply there for the free alcohol party. In the middle of one conversation, I heard women chanting my name and looked around to find the source of the noise.

Turns out my business card had been drawn from a fishbowl and I have won another sex toy.**

In case you’ve lost count, Mom and Dad, that’s two vibrators. Yes, BlogHer is a blogging conference. (Also? I have no idea what one would even do with such a massager.)

Talking to my roommate the next morning, I retold my tale and showed her my prize from the night before. She smiled and mentioned that she had reviewed that very vibrator on her blog a few weeks before.

What luck.***

I joked with her about missing that post but after waiting a minute, I asked her to tell me what she thought of this particular model.

Shaking her head, she started to laugh. “It didn’t do much for me,” she said.

She must have sensed my dejection because she added one last thing obviously designed to make me feel better.

“But I’m not as athletic as you…”

When your vibrator is more of a workout than anything else, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of even using one?****

*It bugs me that the company name isn’t spelled Fantasies. Is it because I used to be a seventh grade teacher? Or because I work for a company whose name is always misspelled?

** Does this count as drama Kevin and Elaine?

***Because this meant that I didn’t have to write a review.

****Don’t feel like you have to answer this question. Especially if you are my mother.