Archive for ‘Life Lessons’

June 30th, 2010

Scars make good stories

by Tarable

All hail the scar. For without it, the skin would be too perfect and the adventures missed too many.

Even if they’re the kind of scars that you pay someone else to create for you.

There’s that one story that you hated telling, about how you were nineteen. And drunk. And too impatient to wait for proper healing.

Then there’s the same story that you decide to rewrite thirteen years later…

tattoo4

And the most recent story is one involving orthostatic hypotension, which is a fancy way of describing what happens when someone with low blood pressure stands up too quickly and blacks out. Good times. You can see that I’m now proudly letting that story speak for itself. On my chin.

scar2

Stories etched on our bodies, scars remind us of who we are and all we’ve been through while providing the kind of memories that only permanent physical experiences can.

As Henry Rollins puts it…

Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.

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June 17th, 2010

Paleo Fail-eo* 2.0

by Tarable

*I totally stole that line from Jen.

But it does sum up nicely how I felt after this Paleo challenge, the second one I’ve done this year. (To refresh your memory…Paleo means no sugar, no grains and no dairy. Yes to meat, yes to veggies and yes to fruit.)

I felt weak.

I cheated once a week during the five-week challenge.

I didn’t punish myself for cheating and there was definitely no guilt. To put it simply, I just wasn’t very into it. (It’s not you Paleo, it’s me!) Maybe it’s because, as my Paleo partner aptly observed, now that we know we can do it, we question why we’re doing it again.

It’s the money and glory you get with winning.

Not really.

I did accomplish everything I wanted to during this challenge…running a faster Bolder Boulder and getting stronger. (I’m not unassisted pull-up strong. Yet. But I’m getting there.)

I just didn’t enjoy denying myself this time around. Surprise, surprise. Each time I cheated, it was because of a celebration I was taking part in…a wedding reception, a new pizza oven, a successful race…and I wanted to be indulging. As part of the festivity. And as part of life.

I didn’t learn as much this time as the first time I tried Paleo, but there were a few things that I should mention about the past five weeks…

  • I’m still in love with coconut milk. That hasn’t changed. And I may have actually drank some if it straight out of the can. Ahem. No judgments…when you’re talking Paleo desserts, you’re not talking about much. I enjoyed many, many bowls of berries and coconut milk without ever growing weary of the stuff.
  • Much more cooking on my part this challenge. A combination of factors made this happen, but I’m glad I was able to take the reins and try some new things in the kitchen. I do know how to cook, I’m just woefully out-of-practice.
  • Even though he said he wasn’t going to do this challenge with me, my husband is just so darn supportive that he couldn’t NOT do it with me. I’m pretty sure he didn’t eat Paleo during the day (proof being the french fry container I found in our car’s cupholder) but at night, he was still cooking Paleo and taking my dietary needs into consideration. For the record, he never ate any ice cream in front of me. (Well, except for that one fancy dinner out with my parents…but it was his birthday…and I’ve almost totally forgotten about it…)
  • We were still limited to only 4 drinks a week but potato vodka was on the list of allowed alcoholic beverages this go-around. (Still not exactly sure why since we couldn’t eat potatoes…but I didn’t want to ask too many questions when it came to alcohol. I knew I’d be needing it.) But with the inclusion of potato vodka, I found this little number to be the perfect Paleo cocktail: a bloody mary. The Kitchen makes their own tomato juice and it was easily the best bloody mary I’ve ever had…Paleo or no Paleo.
  • In related news, brunch is the best meal to enjoy outside of your own kitchen while on Paleo.

So even with my lackluster motivation this challenge, I still ended up achieving some pretty good results.

I lost 5 pounds and 2 inches off my hips. In post-Paleo workouts, I lifted more and performed better than I had pre-Paleo.

And…my partner and I came in fifth place out of all the teams taking part in the challenge. (You can read his recap of Paleo 2.0 here.) Which means we didn’t get any money, but we did make it onto the podium.

While I’ve been slowly easing out of Paleo…a nibble of expensive gouda here, a french fry there…I know that moving forward, there’s no way I can go back to mindless eating. Life’s too short to not pay attention to what you’re putting in your mouth and what effect it has on your body.

Which is just another way of saying yes, you can buy me a beer now.

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April 10th, 2010

Baby got back

by Tarable

Not mine...

I remember the first event in my life that made me start to hate my butt. It was Freshman Honors English class and the teacher asked me to diagram a sentence on the blackboard. I walked up there confidently (my diagramming skillz are legendary) and got to work. As I was finishing, I heard a voice come from the back of the room.

“Tara’s got a big ol’ butt…I know I told you I’d be true…but Tara’s got a big ol’ butt…and I’m leaving you.”

Shawn Senter, popular football player, was serenading me with the lyrics to LL Cool J’s song as I stood with my back to the class.

It amazes me that after seventeen years, this event and the feelings it brought up, remain crystal clear in my memory. How is that even possible when I can’t remember where I put my keys?

Despite this high school trauma, I’ve had an amazing revelation since then.

I love my body.

In fact, I said that very phrase out loud to my husband the other morning. I realized that it was, quite literally, the first time in my life that I said it AND meant it.

(After I said it, my husband responded that he, too, loves my body. So cute, that one.)

back1

It’s a little sad that it took me thirty-four years to fully embrace my junk. But is it all that surprising, really?

Negative body talk surrounds us. From snippets of complaining I overhear to images and posts I see online, women are unhappy with their bodies. Whether it’s the off-hand comment about losing five pounds or the demeaning joke about the pear shape of your body, it seems like this body unhappiness seeps into many conversations I have with my friends.

And it’s not just my friends.

“In one American survey, 81% of ten-year-old girls had already dieted at least once. A recent Swedish study found that 25% of 7 year old girls had dieted to lose weight – they were already suffering from ‘body-image distortion’, estimating themselves to be larger than they really were. Similar studies in Japan have found that 41% of elementary school girls (some as young as 6) thought they were too fat. Even normal-weight and underweight girls want to lose weight.”

I’m tired of it.

My strong and powerful glutes (the gluteus maximus, minimus and medius are the major muscles in your butt) made all of the following possible…

  • 1000 miles backpacking
  • 7 half-marathons
  • 1 marathon
  • 2 triathlons
  • 7 Bolder Boulder 10k races
  • 1 24-hr. mountain bike race
  • 1 100-mile road bike race
  • 5 summits of 14,000+ peaks
  • skiing black diamond runs

Call it my booty resume.

But besides the impressive list of achievements above, what else has changed my mind and caused me to embrace my body now?

butt3

Two things: my husband is an ass-man and CrossFit. The fact that I hear on a daily basis how much my husband loves my ass (and that he can’t keep his hands off of it) has had an amazing effect on the negative feelings I used to harbor towards my backside. When someone loves a part of me that much, who am I to hate it?

And because of CrossFit, I’m much stronger now than I’ve ever been. The ability to deadlift like a champ, perform 150 squats and box jump with the best of them have made me love my body in a whole new way. My glutes are the basis of an amazing amount of functional strength and I honestly feel like I can do anything, physically, that I put my mind (and my ass) to.

Plus now that women are buying butt enhancers and having surgery to plump up their behinds, who’s singing the praises of my ass now, Shawn?

The average TOTAL cost of butt augmentation with fat injections, (the brazilian butt lift) averages $16,000-$18,000.

The average TOTAL cost of butt augmentation with fat injections, (the brazilian butt lift) averages $16,000-$18,000.

Echoing the famous words of Six Mix-a-lot, I too like big butts and I cannot lie. But enough about my booty…how’s yours?

[Photo credits: Joe Shlabotnik via Flickr CC, my friend BJ Gumkowski and PlasticSurgery.com]

CategoryLife Lessons, Running | CommentComments

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March 25th, 2010

Packaging Guilt

by Tarable

I went into a little grocery in my neighborhood to pick up some baking cups. Or muffin liners. Or whatever you want to call those little paper things that sit in your muffin tray and wrap securely around your baked goods. Cupcake condoms?

It took some hunting but eventually I found what I needed.

guiltpackaging

Ignore the crushed nuts.

Take a look at the name of the company that makes these things.

If you care.

Seriously?

I married into a Jewish family and am a recovering Catholic. Guilt is something I’m quite familiar with and I know it when I see it. Is this what companies are forced to do now that there is such a push for “going green”?

(What’s next? Companies named “If you love your children” or “If you want to live to see 80″?)

To address the packaging and its passive-aggressive green guilt trip, I do care.

Also?

This was the ONLY baking cup that the store had in stock.

Even if I didn’t care, I didn’t have any other choice. The lack of supply in the store forced me to purchase these. Which leads me to think that perhaps this company should be called…

If you can’t find anything else.

(Not as catchy, I know. But guilt-free AND true.)

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December 12th, 2009

Best of 2009: New Food

by Tarable

I used to hate olives. With a passion.

As in, from the very pit of my being.

olives

Then something happened.

And I’m pretty sure that something rhymes with “mirty fartini”.

dirtymartini

Don’t get me wrong….I still don’t like black olives.

But holy shit. Those big green ones, or small green ones, stuffed with blue cheese or simply floating in vodka.

moreolives2

Sorry it took me so long…

Olive you.

Photo credits: http://www.flickr.com/photos/darwinbell/ / CC BY-NC 2.0, Grace Boyle, and http://www.flickr.com/photos/vtveen/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

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December 8th, 2009

Best of 2009: Moment of peace

by Tarable

There’s something about heading out on a backpacking trip that is synonymous with peace for me. Maybe it’s because I know I won’t have any chance to log in or maybe it’s because I know that all I have to worry about is when to pump water and how many fish to fry up…

first of many cairns

We went on a backpacking trip into Mee Canyon, Utah this past May and it was incredible. Not only was it some of the most difficult hiking I’ve ever done, especially with a heavy pack on, it was also some of the most secluded. We saw one other person the entire four days we were there.

our campsite

Honestly, there’s just not anything to stress about when you have everything you need on your back. Either you have it or you don’t.

All of my most peaceful moments occur when I sleep outdoors, feeling the breeze and waking up with the sun, knowing that I’m just a very small part of the much larger picture.

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October 25th, 2009

Shots on Goal

by Tarable

Oh hai list of goals that I wanted to accomplish for this year. Long time, no see.

Enter snowy day and the perfect time to sit down and revisit said list. After blowing dust off the blog post, I spent some time thinking about what I’ve accomplished. 1

With the hopes of keeping myself accountable, here’s how I’ve been progressing:

#2. run another marathon.

timberline

This was one of those goals that got slightly amended. I did not have time to train for a marathon, but I did have time to run a different half-marathon in a new state. So that’s what I did instead. (Perhaps before I’m 40 I’ll get another notch in my marathon belt.)

#3. elope.

Done. And done well.

elopement

#4. work on improving my green thumb by growing beans and helping with the community garden.

With the help of my ever-loving  and most patient husband, our garden was bountiful and prosperous.

#5. pay down credit card debt.

Two cards down, a few more to go.

#6. write more letters.

Do thank-you notes count? 2

#10. play another season of Ultimate Frisbee.

It wasn’t a championship season like last year, but we had a lot of spirit. 3

#11. do more push-ups.

The ladies of the Lijit office do (almost) daily push-ups together. Nothing beats a little muscle pump in the afternoon.

#14. roller derby!

rollerderby

Saw my first bout last month and although I’m still undecided on whether or not I should try out, I’m a big fan.

#16. get scuba certified.

Thanks to Weaver’s Dive Center, I’m all set. Belize, here I come!

#24. throw a kickass wedding party.

How about not one, but two kickass wedding parties?

#29. put money in my savings account every month.

So far, so good. 4

The results are a little rough, dear readers.  I’m almost two-thirds of the way through the year and I an only done with one-third of my list.

However, to make myself feel better, I will rationalize that a full third of the list are all goals that are in progress, which means that they will be crossed off at some point:

#1. more yoga.

#8. incorporate strength training into my workout routine.

#9. reach out to my old friends.

#13. give more bodywork

#17. blog more. 5

#20. get rid of unnecessary stuff.

#21. say yes more.

#22. reach outside of my comfort zone.

#23. swim.

#27. be sure my loved ones know how I feel about them.

#28. dance more.

#30. acknowledge gratitude daily.

So, what about that pesky last third of the list? For one reason or another, these goals are the ones that will probably need some adjusting 6 in order to accomplish.

These represent the worst kind of to-do’s–easy to type but much too broad and vague to actually do:

#31.  practice compassion.

#32. forgive and forget.

And then some goals are difficult to achieve because of the money involved:

#19. buy more vintage clothing.

#26. get the tattoo on my ankle redone.

Not to mention, there are the things left that I keep meaning to do…

#7. perform stand-up at least once a month.

#12. explore new parts of Colorado.

#15. experiment with video

#18. learn basics of Photoshop.

#25. volunteer my time with a cause close to my heart.

#33. learn how to juggle.

but that take up more time or energy than I had realized when first creating this list. But I’m figuring it out as I go…and my progress reflects that fact.

It’s just a shame that rocking the footnote plugin wasn’t on the list. 7


  1. Don’t worry. It’s not much. ↩
  2. If you’re reading this and you haven’t received your thank-you note yet, it’s because we’re planning something extra special for you. ↩
  3. That means we wrote good cheers, brought baked goods to games and only one won game. ↩
  4. Of course, in addition to going in, it also comes out some months. ↩
  5. Hey, I’m trying… ↩
  6. Massaging, tweaking, shifting ↩
  7. Because once I start, I just can’t stop… ↩

CategoryAwesomesauce, Blogging, Goals, Life Lessons, Love & Rainbows, Running | CommentComments

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September 1st, 2009

In case you didn’t believe me about the whole crazy billboard thing going on in Wyoming…

by Tarable
another-wyoming-billboard

Seen on I25 North, outside of Cheyenne

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August 26th, 2009

Don’t say you haven’t been warned about the dangers of meth. Or the dangers of what you might see on the open road.

by Tarable

Are billboards really an effective marketing tool anymore?

Well, if you’re considering doing meth and happen to be living in Wyoming or Montana, my guess is that you might have second thoughts after seeing these.

(And of course, my jokes are going to be totally inappropriate, so if you’re on meth while reading this, then I am flat out making fun of you. But then again, if you’re on meth while reading this, there are probably many other things going on in your life to be worried about other than my feeble attempts at humor. Also, if you’re on meth while reading this, you won’t be able to fully understand my feeble attempts at humor because there will be bugs crawling all over the computer screen.)

With that, away we go on the fun ride known as public service billboards, courtesy of the Wyoming Meth Project. Anyone who has spent time driving through the open expanses of Wyoming and Montana will understand why I had to blog about these.

meth1

The reason that you’re not worried about lipstick is because they just don’t make a good shade to match teeth rot. But might I suggest some quality chapstick and a local dentist?

meth4

Just in case you had confused tequila with meth. Because tequila actually will help you hook up. But maybe not with that haircut.

meth2

Wait…you mean things go downhill after you pretend to make out with yourself? On a side note, this looks like my back after I’ve spent a summer afternoon wearing a tank top and fighting off mosquitoes.

M16571_WyMth_Prisn_F_OOH.indd

Actually, there might a few folks out there hoping to get lucky in a jail cell. Dim the lights, whisper some sweet nothings…you never know what might happen. It doesn’t sound as bad as some of the first dates I’ve been on.

M16558_WyMth_Toil_F_OOH_R1.indd

Unless this is your high school bathroom. And your prom date confused tequila with meth. Again.

Let me just remind you that meth is not a joking matter.

These billboards however?

Comedy gold.

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August 19th, 2009

On becoming a champion triathlete

by Tarable

The Fort Collins Triathlon was the second of the summer. I had so much fun doing the Longmont Tri that it seemed a no-brainer to do another.

However, I did something a little different with this race registration. While filling out the online entry form, I looked to see if they offered an Athena and Clydesdale division.

For those that don’t know, Athena and Clydesdale are the nice terms for the larger men and women competing in the race. Men have to be over 200 lbs, while women need to be over 150 lbs. In big races, you have to weigh in prior to the triathlon to make sure that you actually qualify for these divisions.

[I think the men got the short end of the stick on the naming of these categories but for the record, Peter Shankman is proud to be a Clydesdale, so I'm going to rock the Athena designation. It could be worse.]

Race day came and there were never any official weigh-ins.  I had too many other things to think about and was just excited for the event. The swim went well, I kicked ass on the bike and felt strong going into the run, as evidenced below…

Transition from bike to running @ FoCo tri

Crooked is the new black when it comes to tri skirts.

I finished in good time and was happy with my performance. After the race, I was sitting around with my crazy triathlete friends (who had talked me into racing in the first place), drinking well-deserved beer and eating hot dogs.In the background, I heard age group winners being awarded.

I’m halfway through with my hot dog when the announcer mentioned something about Athenas. Since I held no hopes of winning, I thought it would be fun to check out the chicks who did.

The next thing I know, my name is being called out as the first place winner of the Athena division. It’s hard to say who was more surprised…me or my serious triathlete friends. I was in shock and somehow made my way up front to accept my award. After I shook hands with the announcer, I stepped over to the prize table to collect my winner’s plaque. The nine-year-old handing these out looked up at me and told me the truth.

“Uhhh…you were the only one in the category…”

Whatever. Little shithead.

I still won first place.

Upon returning back to Boulder, I was able to honestly answer when my friends  and family asked me, as they always do, if I had won the race.

Actually, yes…yes, I did.

triplaque

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

Two days after the race, I happened to be in a friend’s bathroom with a scale. For laughs, I hopped on and was shocked to realize that I only weighed 140, which meant that I hadn’t actually qualified for the Athena category. Whoops.

To summarize, if you want to win a triathlon, here are the two things you have to do:

  1. Make sure you lie about your weight so that you can get a special distinction when it comes to race participants.
  2. Make sure that there is no one else competing against you in your category.

See?

It’s easy to win a triathlon.

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