This past weekend I went to Miami for my first mommy-blogging* conference since I’ve become a mommy-blogger*.

[*Insert crazy amount of arguing and/or debate about whether or not that is a good and/or real term or even a good and/or real thing at all.]

I’ve never been to Miami but decided I should base all of my assumptions about the town on two of my favorite fucked up TV shows: Dexter and Nip/Tuck. While I didn’t see any evidence to support the serial killer stereotype, I did see some nice ladies with some even nicer work. We were staying at the Ritz-Carlton after all.

Before I even left for the conference, my dream came true in that my big-time blog crush, the woman I want to be when I grow up and one of my favorite women in the world, agreed to be my roommate. Yep, I slept in the same room as BOSSY. This is what Bossy looks like (circa 2008)…

(And I may have tried to make some money at the White party by taking advantage of this fact. No judgement. Things were expensive at the Ritz-Carlton.)

Of course, both Bossy and I forgot to take our cameras with us to any of the Mom 2.0 events. We also both never took our laptops out…in case you’re wondering how we roll at blogging conferences.

To better help you visualize what our weekend was like, I thought I would enlist the help of two women that look amazingly like us…

I know. It’s uncanny.

Here we are at the White party, after an afternoon of $15 guacamole by the pool…

One morning, Bossy and I ran together. It was wet, hot and not nearly as appealing as those two descriptors make it sound. With a few exceptions, it looked just like this…

The closing party  of the conference was held at the Versace mansion in South Beach. That dude knew how to party. With a communal shower featuring seven showerheads and an adjoining opium-smoking room, I’m certain that Versace had no problem getting laid. You’re not going to believe what Bossy and I wore to that schmancy party…

Okay, enough wowing you with how hot we were all weekend. What were some other highlights of Mom 2.0?

(Be warned. Lots of humble-bragging and linking to follow.)

• Having Susan tell me she loved my dress. She’s a fashion blogger – they can’t lie!

• Having Doug tell me that I smile with my whole face. In his best made-for-radio voice.

• Having Gabrielle confirm what I suspected about reality television: it’s not real! Like at all.

• Hearing a TED speaker who made me proud of my college alma mater. No more shame spiral about the good ol’ U of H.

• Teaching a NYT best-selling author about Flo Rida. Because I’m sophisticated & well-read like that.

• Crushing the hands of many blog heroes.

• Experiencing the most comical and choreographed shot of tequila EVER. (No links included to protect the guilty. You know who you are and Guadalajara will never be the same.)

• Realizing that Bossy is better in real life. Duh. And cursing her for my sore abs.

• Having a crazy blog flashback to the first time I was at a blog conference hanging out with Meagan Francis…five years ago.

Was the conference worth it? Most definitely. I laughed, I lounged, I learned and I came home recharged. With nary a sunburn to show for it.

Thanks to everyone at Mom 2.0. For a bunch of mommybloggers (and CEOs and cancer survivors and pioneers), y’all rock.

{Also, if anyone can get that Will Smith song out of my head, I owe you one.}

What the past six days have looked like…

Mexico was pretty amazing. More pictures (and video!) coming soon.

I’m still unpacking. While packing.

(Unrelated but also puzzling…how is it already February?)

But I also remembered how to walk fast, hailed all my own cabs and had someone stop me on the street to ask directions. Directions I couldn’t give them, but still, I must not have looked like a total tourist.

It helps that I wore my trench coat. Which every other woman in Manhattan was wearing. Making me look even less like a tourist.

My camera stayed in my bag as did my laptop. I attended the BlogHer Writers conference, took notes by hand (GASP!) and loved every minute. I didn’t attend the main BlogHer conference this past summer (the first one I’ve not gone to since 2007) mostly because I was a little worried about feeling overwhelmed by 3000+ women. But also because I had a 4-month old at the time.

I told myself that I would seek out a niche conference…something smaller that would help me with my career focus. BlogHer Writers was exactly what I was looking for. It was amazing because there were maybe 200 people there, meaning that it was possible to go up and talk with anyone…which after remembering HOW to talk to other adults…I actually did.

I met the woman who was responsible for publishing 6 out of the 7 Harry Potter books. I met agents. I met editors. I met published authors. I met struggling writers and beginning bloggers.

That is, to borrow from Rachel Zoe, bananas.

There were old friends and many new ones. Not to mention, a heavy dose of creative inspiration…something I’ve been desperately seeking during my reinvention/postpartum rediscovery/who-the-fuck-am-I-now process.

One of the BlogHer co-founders approached me in the bathroom and asked if I was Tara from Lijit. I laughed and told her I was indeed. It’s funny how things stick sometimes.

I am a writer. I always have been. When I was working at tech startups and now that I’m working as a mom.

I thank everyone at BlogHer Writers for reminding me of that and for providing me with the tools chutzpah for taking the next step.

His expression sums it up best.

It only took us two hours to pack. For being so little, babies seem to need so much. Thank god for car-camping.

We wanted to stay close to home for this first trip, in case we had to do an emergency bailout. Luckily, Boulder is surrounded by plentiful camping options and after a mere fifteen minute drive, we found ourselves in Roosevelt National Forest.

After pulling up to the perfect campsite, we got out and looked around. What we found was so funny I had to capture it on video.

Enjoy the father’s day campsite haul…as explained by my husband…

For the record, we did hear a few gunshots off in the distance and only started worrying when a stray bullet ricocheted off a tree nearby. Adam yelled at the yahoos, they apologized, we survived and Eli did wonderfully sleeping in a tent.

See, camping as a family can be done. And can be fun. Except for the gun.

pineapple, papayas, plantains, Placencia and pina coladas

scuba-diving with nurse sharks, moray eels and sea turtles

no work, no laptops, no email, no phone

traveling from island to jungle to mountaintop to peninsula

bug bites, chest acne, coral reef rash & sunburns

biking with a forest fire on the left

trekking on San Pedro with a golf cart and a dead battery

climbing to the top of Mayan ruins

boosting him up to grab a coconut out of a tree

more champagne than necessary

hiking, napping & never knowing how much to tip

renewing vows, setting goals, making plans

drinking Belikin beer and striking up conversations with locals

speaking in accents and making fun of Jimmy Buffett cover bands

outdoor showers, hammocks and the beauty of an island breeze

taking part in San Pedro’s famous chicken drop

swimming through a Mayan cave filled with sacrificial human remains

realizing that drum lines, cole slaw and Bob Marley all hold global appeal

learning, laughing, lounging, loving

soaking up places too schmancy for us

embracing the fact that our honeymoon is only just beginning

thanks to all our friends and family who made this trip possible

(we love you all)

belize honeymoon/one-year anniversary trip 2010

We went on a backpacking trip into Mee Canyon, Utah this past May and it was incredible. Not only was it some of the most difficult hiking I’ve ever done, especially with a heavy pack on, it was also some of the most secluded. We saw one other person the entire four days we were there.

Honestly, there’s just not anything to stress about when you have everything you need on your back. Either you have it or you don’t.

All of my most peaceful moments occur when I sleep outdoors, feeling the breeze and waking up with the sun, knowing that I’m just a very small part of the much larger picture.

However, there was one trip in particular that was by far the most magical…

Duh.

I thought the kitchen looked a little greener than usual.

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And I couldn't believe the sweet outdoor spot we scored for brunch.

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Not to mention that breeze as I slept...and the fact that our bed felt harder than it normally does.

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It's not weird to repackage your food. And only eat things easily rehydrated.

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Wait...so that's why my back was hurting?

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Here I thought our plumbing was acting weird. Why else would we be pumping our own water?

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It seemed like we had a little less privacy than usual.

I’m a little embarrassed. But if telling my story helps other women to know when it’s happening to them, then I’m glad to share.

(Also, TLC, if you’re reading, let’s talk reality backpacking shows. Think a little less Survivorman and a little more Animal House. Have your people get in touch with mine.)

Green moss, lush trees and bike lanes, oh my!
‘Tis a beautiful town, you cannot deny.

Tattoos are a plenty and the hoppy beer keeps a’flowin,
Roses are sweeter-all the rain helps them a’growin.

Bridgetown, oh Bridgetown, with the parks and the art,
The streets full of character, hipsters and heart.

Strip clubs on every corner, promising a good night…
Your food carts delight and the coffee’s done right.

No sales tax, I was warned…shopping’s a breeze.
(And yes, the money did flow out of my wallet with ease.)

Our hosts, Brooke and Nic, showed us the best of the town,
We ate well,  we slept well and generally, got down.

Oregon showed us, like in Jersey, you can’t pump your own gas.
And just like in Colorado, a half-marathon can kick your ass.

Thank you to Portland for the West Coast adventure and fun,
Our late summer vacay was lovely–I’m glad there was sun!

In addition to the weather, Los Angeles proved to be a good choice by seducing me with amazing people, interesting opportunities and a diverse culture. Call it a retreat, call it a girl’s weekend, call it a bachelorette party (which I refuse to do), the time I spent in east L.A. revived me, inspired me and got me ready to rock out in 2009.

Looking back on the trip, there were a few things that were essential to the success of the weekend. Your mileage may vary, but I think you’ll agree that these are some of the necessities:

–a heavy dose of Mexican food–coming from Colorado, we were desperate for Mexican food done right. Fortunately, there were huevos rancheros a plenty, a late-night taco stand run, and lots of nachos… very important for fueling the fun.

–shopping–we walked and looked more than we actually consumed, but it was the leisurely way we did it and the local boutiques we were doing it in that made it so incredible. Silver Lake has fantastic stores and you have to love a neighborhood with personality.

–Thai massage–all “happy ending” jokes aside, this shit was awesome. As a certified massage therapist, I’ve had a lot of massage over the years. But this was a first. Probably the deepest massage I’ve received in a while and with the crazy stretching involved, also the most needed. If you’ve never had a Thai woman walk on your back,  you’re missing out. (Caroline wrote a post about the place we went to in Echo Park.)

–beautiful weather–I know I already gushed about it, but the 80-degree days were really, really nice. There was talk about how warm it was for a California winter but it was just what my pale, Colorado, bundled-in-layers soul needed.

–karaoke–say what you want about the activity, I love singing with strangers. We went to a dive bar called The Smog Cutter , which besides having an awesome name, also had a very interactive karaoke experience. Namely, there was no stage. So you basically just sang in the midst of everyone at the bar, resulting in lots of backup singers, people dancing around you, and ample opportunity to work the crowd. Seriously, it was an epic night of karaoke. Not to mention, I rick-rolled the joint. Totally awesome.

–no schedules–I came to L.A. wanting to simply go with the flow. By not planning every minute of the day, we let things happen and took it all in at a relaxed pace. Who wants to be rushed around anyway?

–near-celebrity sightings–It’s L.A. You can’t help but almost see a celebrity. Our close call came on a corner of Sunset Drive.  Ingrid thought she saw this guy:

…when really she just saw a bulldog who liked to bite skateboards. Embarrassing.

–pajama parties–Do I really need to explain this one?

–Jumbos Clown Room–I’m not going to explain this one but will say I left inspired.

–good friends–I had the right ladies accompany me on this adventure and I love what they brought to the weekend.  It was also really entertaining to tell people that we met because of our blogs. To top off the weekend, I made new acquaintances and got the chance to see an old high school chum (one is silver and the other gold)…reuniting after 14 years only to be reminded that we haven’t really changed that much.

So in summary, despite the title of this post and to some folks’ disbelief, not much actual trouble was had.

Were we troublesome? Very much so.

And boy was it fun.