15Aug

It turns out I can have fun without alcohol. And yes, I’m just as surprised by this as you.

Posted by Tarable | Category: Preggers | Comments

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Ever since my pregnancy was confirmed, I’ve stopped drinking. Crazy and unheard of, I know.

[It was a whole different story when we were trying to get pregnant as I considered alcohol an important part of the conception process. Many books say the opposite and I'm not a doctor, so don't take my word on the whole drinking/knocked up thing. But it seemed to work for us.]

But not drinking now for a month has taught me some interesting things, in addition to giving me an increased respect for the recovering alcoholics and Mormons out there. Here are a few of the newly sober things I’ve done recently…

  • Happy hour. Yes, I still go. And yes, to the untrained eye, it may look like I’m still drinking. The trick with this one: mocktails. I’ve discovered that the whole point behind happy hour is the opportunity to catch up with friends. I can do this with a drink in my hand. Especially if that drink looks fruity and fizzy.
  • Brunch. I’m not sure how you do brunch, but mine always used to include a bloody mary or a mimosa. It turns out that brunch without alcohol is just breakfast. And while still delicious, it does take a bit of the excitement out of it.
  • BlogHer. This was my first sober conference experience. The fact that there were 2400 women around probably didn’t help with that fact. Nor did the many parties I attended. Or the wine party that I was asked to host in my hotel room. But I made it through. I just didn’t have any really fun pictures as I did in years past. Like the one below, after I drank a bit much in a San Francisco Macy’s department store (at a BlogHer sanctioned event…not just because I had shopping anxiety…):

not that much!

  • Concerts. I went to see Built to Spill at an amazing outdoor venue and I’m pretty sure that it was one of the only sober musical experiences I’ve had. With the exception of seeing some classical music a few years back. The show was fun, because I enjoy watching live music, but standing in a crowd of drunken fans wasn’t all it promised. I’d like to say that I’m never going to do that again…although I’m sure I will. Especially since I have tickets to see the Eels in October.
  • Family visits. My MIL is visiting us for a few weeks. Yes, you read that correctly. And I haven’t had a single drink. Yes, you also read that correctly. Tell me you’re proud of me. Please.
  • Company lunch at the pub. It broke my heart not to lift a pint with my co-workers at our Friday company lunch outing. Especially because we were dining at the Mountain Sun, my favorite pub & brewery here in town. I had a pint of what they call magic root beer. I raised my glass in a toast. And I may have asked a co-worker to breath on me after they took a swig of beer. Call me the human breathalyzer.

A few key takeaways from this whole sober thing…

I’ve realized that without alcohol, my ability to make small talk has practically shriveled up. I mean, there’s a reason I call alcohol my favorite social lubricant. Not to mention, my patience for putting up with intolerable people has decreased dramatically. Alcohol also helps with that skill. And on top of all that, I can now remember every event very clearly. So if you’re an annoying stranger that I happen to meet, don’t expect me to be charming and witty. Or to forget your face.

I didn’t write this to garner sympathy from anyone. (In fact, my mommyblogging friends are probably laughing at me right now.) But, if you’re wondering how you can support me during this time, I insist on you doing the following four things: Pour a little of your forty on the ground in memory of me. Raise a toast in my, and the baby’s, honor.  Do not apologize for drinking in front of me. And, for the love of all that’s Irish, drink one for me.

Because I’m still having fun over here while sober.

Just not as much fun.

And, for the record, not drinking during my pregnancy doesn’t mean that every once in a while, I don’t wish (just a little) that I could be this type of pregnant woman…

Halloween - 9 months

Drink up bitches.

{Photo credits: thanks to Caroline Donahue for the photo of me in my drunken mannequin experimentation phase and to Jeff Werner for the pregnant cocktail shot.}

  • Carrie

    Sure, I totally abstained during my first pregnancy. But by the third one, I allowed myself to be seen in public while quite visibly pregnant and having a glass of wine at the same time. I read up, realized that there is no research linking light alcohol intake to problems in kids, and relaxed about it.

    I didn't drink during the first trimester, and I never had more than one drink. This was not an every day or every week thing. But, for example, we went to Mexico on vacation and I was like, Mexico is not Mexico if you don't have at least one margarita while you're there.

  • Laura Hull

    First, I'm very proud of you re: family visits. I absolutely know I couldn't endure certain in-laws without the calming/distracting effects of alcohol. Second, I'm adding your line about brunch/breakfast to my all-time favorite quotes. When I read that, I laughed so loud, my husband came running in from the other room. Keep up the good work!

  • owwww, miss tara. this post made me smile. and cringe (lets be honest). in the hopes of one day i might decide to shoot myself in the foot and want a child, i did'nt realize how much for those epic 9 months i am going to miss out on.. kidding, only partly. dont worry, I will NOT be apologizing for drinking heavily in front of you (i will breathe on you too).

    **good call on the brunch, lady. because with a something bubbly or intoxicating, it is just plain ol, everyday breakfast. ;) LOVE YOU. CONGRATULATIONS too. stinking cute kid you are going to have.

  • Oh, Kit...you always make me smile.

    And it turns out, after talking with a few friends of mine who were recently preggers, there is a small amount of drinking that can be done later on in the pregnancy. It's just going to be weird to order a pint of beer when I'm nine months along...can't you just imagine the look on the bartender's face? Totally worth it. And that means that a happy hour may still be in the future before the little one comes.

  • Designhermomma

    ok, 1. I didn't know you were with child. Congrats my friend!

    2. You can have fun without drinking. For sure.

    3. Drinking will be there when you get back. And trust me, when you get back, you will need it.

    Cheers!
    Emily

  • Emily, with wise women like you helping me out along the way, how can I go wrong? I always knew that making friends with mommybloggers would help out in the long run...

    Also? Absence makes the heart grow fonder, yes? ;)

  • I don't even like booze, so it's like I'm preggers all the time. (Of course, I say this after I spent a whole lotta time drinking vodka at a family Bar Mitzvah. But that was really, really NECESSARY.)

  • Ummm...it's like you're preggers all the time except that you're not experiencing waves of nausea, extreme tiredness, crazy hormones and growing dimensions.

    (And you owe me pics and/or video of the stilettos you wore to the above mentioned Bar Mitzvah. I'm living vicariously through your heels.)

  • This bud's for you!

  • And the baby!

  • Catherine

    You've been sober each time we've seen wach other so I am really really crossing my fingers that I am not one of "those" people. I like sober fun because I wake up a lot less dehydrated in the morning. I just wish I would remember that when a start drinking the night before.

  • Are you kidding me? You're not one of "those" people but you just happen to catch me at weak points...like Paleo and Pregnancy. Let's plan on drinking (just a bit) together sometime in the future. Like maybe two years from now. ;)

  • One thing I always notice when I go to parties while pregnant? Is how ridiculous other people look, sound and behave when under the influence. I always find myself promising myself that I'll never be that person again. And then I go to a party a few months after the baby's born and I think "I'll just have one glass!" and next thing you know I'm like, why did I ever think these people were obnoxious? They are all MY BEST FRIENDS and sooo smart and funny, too.

    Ahem.

  • Right there with you, Meagan. And oh, so true.

  • Kristina

    Pregnant? CONGRATULATIONS! You may not want to be around me while you are sober. I think I am the annoying type. :)

  • No worries, sister. I'm the annoying type while sober. ;)

  • greeblemonkey

    I'm looking forward to having you as a designated driver for the next 7 months.

  • You and everyone else, Greebs. If only I could stay awake long enough to make it to the point in a party where people need a designated driver...

  • Mocktails and near beer saved my reputation for the 6 months I couldn't drink last year, and gave me a whole new appreciation for the social aspects of happy hour. Cheers to you and the baby! And congrats again.

  • Thanks Clair. It was awesome reconnecting with you at BlogHer and as for my reputation...well, you now know I'm no longer a virgin.

  • I smiled through the whole post. You're gonna be the best mommy, especially because you wrote about that you CAN have fun without alcohol and that you are doing just that :)

    Good call with the mocktail, too.

  • But who's to say what happens after the baby's born? Maybe I become one of those mommybloggers who just needs one bottle of wine during the kid's play dates? Perhaps I should start investigating new URLs...Mommyneedsfourcocktails.com?

  • Eatplaylove

    Confession, I'm not much of a drinker. I've been to more concerts sober than intoxicated. I didn't drink while I was nursing except for maybe a handful of times. I just can't hang with the way I feel the next day.

    Welcome to the world of Arnold Palmers... Btw, I love Mtn Sun's iced tea.

  • Denise, it's pretty amazing how pregnancy is opening my eyes to many "habits" that I didn't consider that bad...until now. Like coffee. I always thought of myself as healthy but feel like I'm entering a whole new world now.

  • Tekee

    More power to ya Tara! Pregnancy is always a great motivator to make smart choices. We had to make some of our own when we knew Samantha was on the way. I am so happy for you and Adam! The THREE of you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Just think, two more and you can play family feud again!

  • Thanks for the support Ted. I hadn't even thought about the Family Feud aspect, but now that you mention it, I'll start the training! Once a FF champion, always a FF champion.

    Also, good to know that the Colorado microbrews are safe in your hands until I can get back to them. ;)

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